Be Happy Now!

elaineh — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 20:07:49 +0000

Sometimes being happy takes courage. Sometimes we get so comfortable experiencing a less than happy mood because it’s best not to expect too much or get let down. We like what’s familiar. We can settle into unhappiness and forget how to feel happy. When you’re unhappy you can even distort a happy memory and say, ‘Oh I only thought I was happy’. But being happy is easier than you think. Remember a time when you felt really happy. It could be the start of a new relationship when all you can think about is how wonderful the other person is. How many times a day do you think of that person and experience a rush of happiness? Thinking about that person makes you feel good and so you repeat the experience again and again firing off those happy anchors. But when was the last time you generated these good feelings just for the fun of it? We all know what it feels like to be happy but we don’t bring back these good feelings without an excuse because surely we need a reason to feel happy? No, we don’t.

Happiness, like all feelings, is contagious. “No, it’s not”, you might be saying,” I can be perfectly miserable even if I’m with a happy friend”. Now, tell me how you feel when you’ve spent time with someone who complains about everything and anything and is determined to see life in a negative light. Do you come away happy? I doubt it. And then think of a time when you’ve been laughing with a friend and you’re still in that state when you speak to the next person you come across and you take happy thoughts with you and then the next person you meet picks up on these happy thoughts and experiences them too. Your outlook on life will change with your mood, as the Bard said ‘there is no good or bad but thinking makes it so’.

A friend of mine who had been having relationship difficulties told me how she wanted her partner to take the initiative and arrange an evening out for them both. All day she would imagine the many reasons that this wasn’t likely to happen and as the day went on she got angrier and angrier as she continued an imaginary argument with him in her head. By the time they finally met up later after work she would be so angry and resentful that she could barely speak to him. No surprise to know that he wasn’t then in the mood to take her somewhere nice! Fortunately, with help, she resolved the situation by making a shift. Instead of having imaginary arguments with her partner during the day she remembered all the things she liked about him until by the end of the day she was really looking forward to seeing him. What you focus on increases. She couldn’t have been more delighted when he whisked her away to Paris for a weekend because ‘he likes to see her happy’.

My friend didn’t ‘pretend’ that she was feeling happy, she just focused on what she wanted instead of what she didn’t want. I’m not advocating that you cover up emotion with positive thinking. Feelings and emotions need to be accepted in order to move on and masking feelings with words will not work. It’s far better to repeat the affirmation ‘I accept myself exactly as I am’ than spitting ‘I am happy’ through gritted teeth when you are clearly not. Accept that you are unhappy at that moment and that it will pass. What you resist persists. Resisting and denying feelings of sadness or anger will just amplify those emotions.

Another way people deny themselves happiness is to put it off. ‘I’ll be happy when I’ve lost a stone’ or I’ll be happy when I’ve finished this job, get the car, go on holiday’. Why wait? Have you ever been in a situation that seemed quite appalling and thought ‘I’ll laugh at this one day’? Why wait?

Change your thoughts and you change your life. Your thoughts become your reality. Think about a time when you felt really happy – and do more of that!

The Story of No

elaineh — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 10:34:21 +0000

Byron Katie says that we would get whatever we wanted – if we were willing to ask 1000 people for it. How many of us would do that? We might ask one or two people but then we stop asking. Why do we stop asking for what we want? Mostly it is a fear of rejection. But, what is rejection? It doesn’t actually exist. It’s the thought of rejection which leads to the feeling of rejection and feeling rejected is a story we tell ourselves. People will say no to us for a variety of reasons. They might be very busy or financially stretched yet the no can feel personal and might lead to a feeling of rejection if we let it. It’s easy to make up a story that goes along the lines of ‘I’m not good enough … They don’t like me …. ‘ all because somebody said ‘no, thank you’. Rejection is, therefore, a perception. It’s the film we run at that moment. We project our thoughts onto the screen, we watch that film as if it were the truth and feel the emotions attached. So why does this feeling stop us asking for what we want? Sometimes we need to ask for something and we really need a yes – but we don’t want to be rejected, we want people to approve of us. We tell ourselves that maybe if we ask now it might be the wrong time? They might be in the middle of something or unwilling to commit right now. Why would they want to say yes anyway? We become really sure that they will say no and we’re not in the mood for a no so we don’t ask. We’ve told ourselves the story of no before we’ve even picked up the phone. It’s a bit like a man standing in a bar noticing an attractive woman that he would like to talk to. He thinks about going over to her and then he thinks about all the reasons she might not want to talk to him until he turns away from her, feeling rejected.

So instead of fearing no and making up a story about what no might mean, what if you flipped the idea and decided to collect as many nos as you can in one day? Jumble up the letters and make rejection ‘I-no-reject’ – sounds as silly as the feeling it used to have doesn’t it? Be determined to collect at least 10 nos in a day. The world is more ready to say yes than you realise. But we never find out because we’re so afraid of no.

Go out there and collect your 10 nos today!

What does Quantam Psychology have to do with hypnotherapy?

elaineh — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 19:15:14 +0000

Changing your life starts with changing your thinking and Quantam Psychology has much to teach us about the inner workings of our mind. When the principles of Quantam Psychology are combined with techniques such as NLP and hypnosis, it is possible to repogramme your old thought patterns and habits leading you to a new way of thinking.

Your thoughts and perceptions have a huge effect on your experience of the world. Negative thought patterns can and do affect everything in your life from health and wellness to prosperity and happiness. This is because, as research confirms, your thoughts actually become your reality. This is why self-fulfilling prophecies work. How many times have you burnt the toast or dropped it butter side up and decided that it meant that you are going to have to have a bad day? And guess what? You do! Often, the things that we worry about most manifest in our lives but would they still show up if we didn’t have constant thoughts about them? Do our thoughts affect our physical reality? Have you thought your reality into being consciously or unconsciously?

The first step to changing your life may be to identify the thought patterns that haven’t served you and change them. Ha! Easy for some, you might say. But, consider, when you aware of negative thought patterns, you can consciously begin to change your thoughts to those that will lead to positive outcomes in your life.

Your brain is like a computer and NLP and hypnosis are both techniques that can reprogramme your brain to think in a different way. To shift from negative subconscious thought patterns to positive ones.

In hypnosis this is achieved through suggestion when you are in a deeply relaxed and suggestive state. Contrary to popular belief, hypnosis isn’t about giving up control. Instead, hypnosis is a method of bypassing your critical conscious mind and going straight to the source of many of your fears that may have built up over a lifetime of conditioning and programming. When in an hypnotic state, your subconscious mind is willing and able to receive and internalise helpful suggestions.

Quantam psychology really does show that your thoughts and beliefs affect outcomes in your life. That’s not to say that you must suddenly become happy clappy and tell everyone how fantastic you feel through gritted teeth. Becoming aware of these negative thoughts and consciously shifting them will have an enormous impact. Give it a go and see.