Byron Katie says that we would get whatever we wanted – if we were willing to ask 1000 people for it. How many of us would do that? We might ask one or two people but then we stop asking. Why do we stop asking for what we want? Mostly it is a fear of rejection. But, what is rejection? It doesn’t actually exist. It’s the thought of rejection which leads to the feeling of rejection and feeling rejected is a story we tell ourselves. People will say no to us for a variety of reasons. They might be very busy or financially stretched yet the no can feel personal and might lead to a feeling of rejection if we let it. It’s easy to make up a story that goes along the lines of ‘I’m not good enough … They don’t like me …. ‘ all because somebody said ‘no, thank you’. Rejection is, therefore, a perception. It’s the film we run at that moment. We project our thoughts onto the screen, we watch that film as if it were the truth and feel the emotions attached. So why does this feeling stop us asking for what we want? Sometimes we need to ask for something and we really need a yes – but we don’t want to be rejected, we want people to approve of us. We tell ourselves that maybe if we ask now it might be the wrong time? They might be in the middle of something or unwilling to commit right now. Why would they want to say yes anyway? We become really sure that they will say no and we’re not in the mood for a no so we don’t ask. We’ve told ourselves the story of no before we’ve even picked up the phone. It’s a bit like a man standing in a bar noticing an attractive woman that he would like to talk to. He thinks about going over to her and then he thinks about all the reasons she might not want to talk to him until he turns away from her, feeling rejected.
So instead of fearing no and making up a story about what no might mean, what if you flipped the idea and decided to collect as many nos as you can in one day? Jumble up the letters and make rejection ‘I-no-reject’ – sounds as silly as the feeling it used to have doesn’t it? Be determined to collect at least 10 nos in a day. The world is more ready to say yes than you realise. But we never find out because we’re so afraid of no.
Go out there and collect your 10 nos today!
